What we affirm
Beauty can be excessive. Kindness should not be. Art is a form of attention. Hospitality is practical grace. A good performance creates temporary community, even in a room with sticky floors.
Quasi-religious information
Doctrine-ish
Our beliefs are sincerely unserious and unseriously sincere.
What “Reformed” means
We revised the bylaws, replaced the burnt coffee, widened the aisle, added a suggestion box, and stopped pretending anybody knew where the original bylaws were.
The Eight Reasonable Commandments
- Thou shalt not be cruel when amusing will do.
- Honor thy host, bartender, roadie, cook, and designated driver.
- Keep one outfit ready for an unexpected occasion.
- Make art before making excuses.
- Do not confuse confidence with volume.
- Return borrowed records in their sleeves.
- Tip generously, especially when the choir is understaffed.
- Leave room in every creed for a better idea.
Liturgical Calendar-ish
- January
- The Month of Second Chances and Discount Sequins
- March
- The Lenten Reduction of Unnecessary Group Emails
- July
- The High Feast of Air Conditioning
- October
- The Vigil of the Mysterious Costume Box
- December
- Twelve Days of Leftovers
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this a real church?
It is a real website, a real joke, and a real invitation to be kinder and stranger. Legal and metaphysical classifications remain pending.
Do I have to believe in Elvis?
No. You may regard Elvis as icon, artist, metaphor, cautionary tale, or exceptionally committed jumpsuit professional.
Are you affiliated with Elvis Presley’s estate?
No. This is an independent satirical project and makes no claim of endorsement or affiliation.